I do love her

I try to resist. And I thin she tries to resist.
We love each other, and cannot, or will not, be together.

I can't bring myself to leave the relationship I'm in. Why? I don't really know. Lots of reasons to do so, and an vague intangeble that says stay. And the vagueness wins.
And she wants an ideal, I think that isn't me. Not that she will ever find that ideal, I know deep in my heart that she won't. But she holds out that hope, which would keep her from being happy with me.
So we're stuck

Depply in love with each other, and deeply attached to each other, and avoiding the hell out of each other.

And, damn it, we've been doing this for 15 years!!!!!!!!

- She's the only preson in the world I am truely honest with.
- I'm the only person in the world who accepts, and enjoys, all her foibles.
- We like doing the same things.
- We're fantastic in bed together (on those rare occasions where we've let ourselves be).
- What the Hell.

Ahhhh, dammit it. I Love you, Beth!