They;re all crazy.

Current count;
Regular GF.  Same stuff, not too exciting.  Steady.  Boring.
Second #1:  Can't live without me.  "with me, every other relationship is worse without you".
Blast from the past that I made love to the other night "my body seems to have woken up from a long slumber."  Well yeah, I'm good in the sack.
First alternate and 2nd alternate are confused about their current relationship, want to have long talks with me.  Talk is what I give.  No, listen is what I give.
And that's the soul of it lads.  Listen.  Don't talk.  Listen.  Then touch them tenderly.  And sincerely.  You can love them all.  And they all get happier.