One challenging thing
Here's one of the challenges you have;
I'm going on vacation in a few weeks with my regular woman.
But, I'm going to be gone for about 3 weeks, so I have to tell my #1 & #2 GF that I will be gone.
If it's only a few days, or even a week, I can usually fabricate skillful text messages that make it appear that I'm still at work but too busy to engage with the side women.
But 3 weeks is too long. So I have to tell them. And I know it will be a crisis.
GF #1 forst, because she's the least self-sufficient. I text her the news. Drama through text erupts. "See, this is why we'll never work!" "You are building a even bigger history with her!" and so on.
I negotiate through that (all through text) and, no surprise in the end, we arrange to meet at our favorite hotel for 5 hours of lovemaking the day before I go off on vacation.
GF #2 was tonight. She's a little bit easier. We have dinner (she *like* Olive Garden, a girl of simple pleasures) we go back to her condo and make out, etc. Then we're puttering in her kitchen, and we talk about getting together the next two weeks. And I casually toss off "because I'll be gone for a couple of weeks at the end of October".
Chill wind blows through.
She starts to integrate this. Takes about 1/2 hour in total, we work through why our situation will never change. I say "It will change". What I mean is "Yeah, I'm going to dump live-in GF and marry GF #1" but it's interpreted as "Oh baby, we'll be together!' . I never lie, but I let people draw their own conclusions without correcting them.
Tension, lots of her talking, me sagely nodding, and we're all done. She's integrated that I'll be gone for a while. She loves me and misses me already. Next week sometime I'll let her know it's actually going to be 3 weeks, but she's accepted the 2, the three will be 5 minutes of angst.
So I leave, and she can't let me go out the door.
Hard part done. Now just a bit more sex before I take off for vacation
10 minutes after I posted this I realized I missed the point I was trying to make.
I just told two women "Hey, you're out of my life for 3 weeks, I'm cruising around with some other woman flying 1st class and paying $1,700 a night on a 3 week trip".
Yes, it hit them hard. But in both cases, with careful coaching, within 1/2 hour they BOTH were back to saying how much they loved me and how they wanted me.
What is this? That's part of this blog, if you haven't figured it out yet. Every one of these eposes is real, but is sounds like some hardcore manfiction. It isn't.
These three women are putting up with what is to me unendurable emotional whipsawing. Yes, I do actually love them all. But I'm not committed to ANY OF THEM!
And all three put up with it anyway. Because I listen to them. Because I treat them, even once a week, as real, live, human important creatures. Because they are, I don't lie.
But the emotional turmoil they suffer just to continue to have contact with me, a guy that doesn't happen to be an absolute shit, is extreme.
Why?
What have we done to women in our culture?
Still thinking. And still enjoying having sex in various ways with three women every week. Which is a biologic imperative genetically that afflicts the male side, another thing to ponder.
Stay tuned.
I'm going on vacation in a few weeks with my regular woman.
But, I'm going to be gone for about 3 weeks, so I have to tell my #1 & #2 GF that I will be gone.
If it's only a few days, or even a week, I can usually fabricate skillful text messages that make it appear that I'm still at work but too busy to engage with the side women.
But 3 weeks is too long. So I have to tell them. And I know it will be a crisis.
GF #1 forst, because she's the least self-sufficient. I text her the news. Drama through text erupts. "See, this is why we'll never work!" "You are building a even bigger history with her!" and so on.
I negotiate through that (all through text) and, no surprise in the end, we arrange to meet at our favorite hotel for 5 hours of lovemaking the day before I go off on vacation.
GF #2 was tonight. She's a little bit easier. We have dinner (she *like* Olive Garden, a girl of simple pleasures) we go back to her condo and make out, etc. Then we're puttering in her kitchen, and we talk about getting together the next two weeks. And I casually toss off "because I'll be gone for a couple of weeks at the end of October".
Chill wind blows through.
She starts to integrate this. Takes about 1/2 hour in total, we work through why our situation will never change. I say "It will change". What I mean is "Yeah, I'm going to dump live-in GF and marry GF #1" but it's interpreted as "Oh baby, we'll be together!' . I never lie, but I let people draw their own conclusions without correcting them.
Tension, lots of her talking, me sagely nodding, and we're all done. She's integrated that I'll be gone for a while. She loves me and misses me already. Next week sometime I'll let her know it's actually going to be 3 weeks, but she's accepted the 2, the three will be 5 minutes of angst.
So I leave, and she can't let me go out the door.
Hard part done. Now just a bit more sex before I take off for vacation
10 minutes after I posted this I realized I missed the point I was trying to make.
I just told two women "Hey, you're out of my life for 3 weeks, I'm cruising around with some other woman flying 1st class and paying $1,700 a night on a 3 week trip".
Yes, it hit them hard. But in both cases, with careful coaching, within 1/2 hour they BOTH were back to saying how much they loved me and how they wanted me.
What is this? That's part of this blog, if you haven't figured it out yet. Every one of these eposes is real, but is sounds like some hardcore manfiction. It isn't.
These three women are putting up with what is to me unendurable emotional whipsawing. Yes, I do actually love them all. But I'm not committed to ANY OF THEM!
And all three put up with it anyway. Because I listen to them. Because I treat them, even once a week, as real, live, human important creatures. Because they are, I don't lie.
But the emotional turmoil they suffer just to continue to have contact with me, a guy that doesn't happen to be an absolute shit, is extreme.
Why?
What have we done to women in our culture?
Still thinking. And still enjoying having sex in various ways with three women every week. Which is a biologic imperative genetically that afflicts the male side, another thing to ponder.
Stay tuned.
posted by Alex Kinnison at 12:01 AM
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